By the time I reached high school, I started to go to church with my aunt. The students in my new youth group seemed like they were perfect and did not struggle with "real sin" as I did. For four years, I tried to be "perfect" just like them, so that I could be baptized like they were. Of course, that never worked out and I fell back into my rebellion and turned to self-harm.

As I learned more about Christianity, mission trips were a topic that was brought up a lot. I had many opportunities to go on a mission trip during my middle school and high school years but never felt qualified enough to go on one. I also did not get an encouraging reaction from my family when I mentioned my interest, so I hid my interest in missions and tried to forget about it.

It was not until the summer after my senior year of high school that I heard the Gospel very clearly. I went to a “Christ in Youth” conference and on the last night, I felt the speaker had been watching me my whole life. Everything he said was true about me and the way I had thought about life. He shared an illustration of the Gospel I had never heard before. Because of that, I finally understood that I cannot have a relationship with God and walk along the bridge of life successfully without Jesus Christ. So, that night I prayed to receive Christ, the next Sunday I was baptized, and three weeks later I started at Emporia State University.

In college, as I gradually trusted His guidance and not my own, the Lord showed up in many ways in my life. One was that I actually graduated from college with honors after almost failing out my sophomore year. Another is that over time, I have been able to forgive the men in my life who have hurt me. Also, while in college, I went on my first missions trip and learned that God does not call the qualified, but he qualifies the called.

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